Let me start with the story my sister sent me yesterday. A shopkeeper was selling grapes – some were in bunches, others were loose and were being offered at half the price. A woman became curious about the price difference and asked him what was wrong with the ones being sold loose?

Nothing – replied the shopkeeper. The type and quality of both grapes is identical as you can see; the loose grapes are not part of the bunch, and therefore have no identity anymore; as a result they have lost their worth.

This was stunning; how and why could identity matter so much? Is being “attached” or “belonging to some group” so important? Is there a lesson here that we need to learn? The topic of what really constitutes our identity is rather deep and complex – with several books being written on the subject. I will touch on just a few aspects – and invite you to share your thoughts.

Identity – What is it and why is it necessary anyway?

Let us take a closer look at “identity” in a couple of ways…

We identify ourselves using various descriptors – which include professions, places, communities/families, symbols of wealth, religions, etc. Thus it is common for us to say I am an American, an engineer, and I come from the royal family…etc. It seems to create a sense of certainty, belonging, power, ego, helping project to the world (and ourselves) – “who” we are, and by extension what we stand for. Is this somewhat akin to grapes being attached to a bunch?

The Social Angle

One perspective (social) is provided by Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs. It posits that we look to fulfill our needs for love/belonging, and self-esteem arise after our basic needs of survival (food, shelter, and security) are met. Thus – our “identification” with groups, places, etc. are higher up in the scale.

Body and Mind

Another angle is to think in terms of the physical body and the mind – I am this person; these are my hands, legs, feet, my eyes, my ears, my mind, my thoughts, etc. This surfaces an interesting question – if these are “my” limbs, and, sense organs etc., then where is that “I” – the owner of these things? Inside my body? Has anyone seen that “I”? Is it tangible, or just a concept, or is there something beyond that? I am Rai and this is my body; 20 years ago, I was Rai too, however, I did NOT have the same body; we know that body has re-cycled itself many times over during that span of time, and my thinking, understanding, perception, all have undergone changes as well. So – who am I today?

Relative or Absolute?

Some folks maintain there is the relative identity and the absolute identity. Our little self that appears to be visible here and takes itself so seriously is merely a relative identity (whether good or bad); it is not our absolute identity that we are eternally in God. The Buddhist idea of letting go of our attachment to our relative identity is almost identical to Jesus’ teaching of dying to our self (or even “renouncing the self” as in Mark 8:34).
(Source: https://abqecc.wordpress.com/2013/08/22/relative-and-absolute-identity/)

Worth – From who’s Perspective?

Attempting to bring the above discussion to a close cannot happen without looking into the crucial question of who determines the worth, and the basis for that determination. Even more fundamentally one needs to ask – Is the determination of worth important?

My view is that unless you are engaged in a transaction (financial, social, or other) of sorts – the determination of worth is not important. Life is what it is, and will become what we make of it within the framework of the karmic principles.

Where the determination of worth makes sense – it behooves us to ask the question do I want to be measured by my own yardstick, or someone else’s – and who that someone else should be. Further, how do I know that any yardstick will be consistent over time – knowing that we humans are susceptible to fickleness, and change over time.

As for the grapes – they did lose their connection with the bunch – but not their true identity. What do you think? I would love to hear…